Common Tables in The Newspapers

Arab News

Dining together to do away with divide
Barbara Ferguson, Arab News

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian sit down for a dinner together....

No, it’s not a joke, but rather the beginning of an event called “Common Tables,” an interfaith group trying to end religious bigotry.

The logic is simple: People who break bread together can break down religious misunderstandings, too.
It all began with the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, when Dave Corby’s first reaction was “to be mad at them — which in my mind was Muslims.”

After thinking it over, however, the 61-year-old founder of the organization said he came to the conclusion that harboring such anger at a broad category of people “was pretty stupid of me... because I didn’t know any Muslims.”

That realization was among several factors that inspired Corby and his wife, Kay, to start Common Tables, a nonprofit, nondenominational group based in Denver, Colorado, aimed at bringing people of different religious denominations together to share meals in relaxed settings — usually someone’s home — and just let them talk.

The hope is that through mutual understanding people will help build better relationships, achieve greater understanding and acceptance of each other’s religions — and sometimes, even establish friendships.

In less than two years, groups organized through Common Tables have thrived throughout the US, which has branches in 30 states and 100 different cities. Common Tables matches up small groups, usually four to six people, from different faith groups who live in the same geographic area and ask them to schedule four meals in a six-month period.

“We also have new members in Pakistan and Australia who are trying to set up Common Tables events in their countries,” said Kay.

Participants are asked to meet “with open hearts and in a spirit of curiosity,” according to www.CommonTables.org.

“We’ve been called the ‘E-Harmony’ of the interfaith movement, and that really sums up what we do, as we use the Internet as a place to gather members,” said Dave, referring to a popular online social networking service in the US. “We continually monitor our databases, and when we get a group of people that is sufficiently close to each other, we notify them that we have enough people to start a forum for dinner.”

Members, who join either as individuals or couples, pay $35 a year, which Dave said helps cover administrative costs and creates a sense of commitment among participants.

Some of the meet-ups are based on specific requests, such as someone who would like to meet with an adherent of an Eastern religion. The groups typically start out in a coffee shop or other public place, both to break the ice and to lay the ground rules on dietary restrictions and religious preferences. Any prohibitions held by a member — such as not eating pork or drinking alcohol — are honored at the dinner table.

Participants are encouraged to meet four times within six months in homes and eat home-cooked meals; this helps create a relaxed, informal setting for conversation.

Dave said there are Muslims that are members of Common Tables, but not enough to fill all the requests they have throughout the US. “There’s a group of Muslims in Denver called the Colorado Mosaic Society, and we’ve become friends with several people there and we’re invited to go to their Ramadan dinner later this month,” said Dave. “We went to a mosque near us and attended prayer services there one Friday to see what that was like and to meet people. And we continue to meet Muslims around the community.”

He also said he was very moved when he went to the mosque and listened to the imam’s speech.

“The imam’s message was the same as it would be in our churches,” he said. “His message that day was that we are all one people, and everything you to do, you do to all people. He closed his sermon by telling people there to go out and to offer unconditional love to one person that day. That really resonated with us.”

Dave said he’s learned a lot through his experience of getting to know Muslims in his community. “Now I don’t feel any different about them than I do with anyone else,” he said. “Everyone really is basically the same.”

Traditionally, religious leaders have traditionally led the charge for interfaith understanding.

Since 9/11, however, veteran interfaith activists noticed a need among Americans for a more personal, one-on-one connection across religious lines outside of the group of active religious leaders. For many, it began with a desire to meet Muslims, to work past the fear and anger caused by the terrorist attacks.

Common Tables stepped in to bridge that gap, and offered that outreach opportunity to people of different faiths living in the same communities.

The groups are free to talk about their faith and cultural traditions and, if they wish, attend each other’s worship or other services.

“This is about compassionate dialogue,” said Dave. “This is about learning there is nothing to fear. We want to create ever-expanding circles of inclusiveness.”

Dave said his activism has expanded his range of tolerance considerably.

“I’m dramatically more open than I was,” he said. “I wasn’t even aware that I wasn’t open.”

It’s not all fine and dandy, however.

“We can’t get enough of (Muslims) to join us,” said Dave. “They are reluctant to participate.”

The problem, he says, is that while there is a great interest among non-Muslims to meet with Muslims, it can be difficult to find interested people from the relatively small Muslim communities in most American cities.

“I guess that since they’re not a large part of the population, there are not as many signing up as we would like,” said Dave.

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The Toledo Blade

Sharing meals, sharing faith: Diverse groups break bread and build relationships

(01/19/08) By David Yonke, BLADE RELIGION EDITOR

In the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Dave Corby's first reaction was "to be mad at them - which in my mind was Muslims."

After thinking it over, however, he came to the conclusion that "it was pretty stupid of me because I didn't know any Muslims."

That realization was among several factors that inspired Mr. Corby to start Common Tables, a nonprofit, nondenominational group based in Denver, Colo. Its mission is to bring people of different religious traditions together to share meals in relaxed settings, usually someone's home, in order to build better relationships and help diverse groups live in harmony.

The organization was founded last April, went online in May, and has had more than 300 people enrolled so far. Its ambitious goal, however, is to enlist 3 million participants worldwide within a year.

"We've had inquiries from 86 or 87 countries," said Sandy Sommers, one of the co-founders. "It's amazing how this idea just took off."

In Toledo, a similar program called Tables of 8 is being run by the MultiFaith Council of Northwest Ohio, with about 30 people from five religious traditions participating so far.

"Many activities on an interfaith level are pretty programmed," said Judy Lee Trautman, co-founder of the MultiFaith Council. "This is informal, people getting to know each other as people. It's a good way to break stereotypes."

She said she hopes Common Tables reaches its goal of 3 million participants because "if we can reach a critical mass, we can really make a difference."

Ms. Sommers said Common Tables' leaders seek to work with more interfaith groups.

"We're not advocating that we're doing this better than anybody else," she said. "We're doing this in conjunction with other interfaith groups and any way we can grow and benefit from other people's experiences, we're all for it."

Common Tables' members, who join either as individuals or couples, pay $25 a year. Mr. Corby said the fee helps cover administrative costs and also creates a sense of commitment among participants.

Members range in age from early 20s to 93, he added, and come from a diverse range of religious traditions.

Among the faiths represented so far are various Christian denominations, Shiite and Sunni Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Native Americans, neo-pagans, pantheists, agnostics, and atheists, Ms. Sommers said.

Most of the members are laypersons, not ordained clergy, she added, although clergy are welcome to join.

"We wanted people to share at the grassroots level," Ms. Sommers said.

Mr. Corby said in many interfaith settings, the leaders do all the talking and laypersons sit back and listen. "One of the points that really differentiates us from other organizations is that we're all about dialogue," he said.

Common Tables matches up small groups, usually four people, from different faith groups who live in the same geographic area and ask them to schedule four meals in a six-month period.

Some of the pairings are based on specific requests, such as someone who would like to meet with an adherent of an Eastern religion, Mr. Corby said.

The groups typically start out in a coffee shop or other public place, both to break the ice and to lay the ground rules on dietary restrictions, religious preferences on alcohol, etc.

"They meet at a neutral territory, introduce each other, bring a calendar, and schedule one or two or three meetings," Mr. Corby said. "The idea is that a lot of people aren't comfortable showing up at a stranger's home, and a lot of people aren't comfortable bringing strangers into their house."

Common Tables provides forms for dietary checklists and discussion questions to help the dialogue get rolling.

Mr. Corby said, however, that the dinner meetings have "an interesting group dynamic. They quickly determine where they want to go as a group. We prepare them with some icebreaker exercises but, frankly, a large number of groups ignore them and talk about what they want to talk about."

Ms. Sommers said the prepared questions are designed bring up commonalities among religions and to spark constructive discussions about differences.

"We try to steer away from the negatives and focus the questions in a positive way," she said.

There is no pressure to follow a script, however, and there are no facilitators or outcome-based models.

"If you just talk about football, grandchildren, and gardening, that's fine, too. You can walk away just being friends," Ms. Sommers said.

That's not how the dinner meetings generally go, however. Participants are generally can't wait to start talking about religion.

"What we find is that people jump right in and start having the most exciting discussions about their faith," Ms. Sommers said.

There is only one firm rule: No proselytizing.

"That's fundamental to us. We strongly say that," Ms. Sommers said. "And if people violate that, we will talk to them and it could potentially be grounds for removal."

More information on Common Tables is available online at www.commontables.org or by calling 303-690-3900. For information on the MultiFaith Council of Northwest Ohio is available online at multifaithcouncil.org or by calling 419-475-6535.

- David Yonke

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The Denver Post

Breaking of bread, barriers
Common Tables fosters insight on faiths, fights bigotry one meal at a time

(11/13/07) By Electa Draper, The Denver Post Columnist

Did you hear the one about the Episcopalian, former Baptist, Catholic turned Baha'i and atheist who walked into a coffee shop?

While that may sound like the beginning of a joke, this particular interfaith gathering is part of a serious endeavor called Common Tables.

This nonprofit group is trying to end religious bigotry — one dinner table at a time.

The notion is that people who break bread together can break down barriers between faiths.

Co-founders Randy and Sandy Harris and Dave and Kay Corby arrange for individuals and couples from diverse spiritual backgrounds to meet and explore their similarities and differences.

Common Tables, although not affiliated with any faith group, has worked with local clergy in launching the program, Randy Harris says.

After only two months of operations, they have signed up about 150 couples in the Denver area.

They usually meet first in a coffee shop or some neutral territory — then, their homes are the venues.

On a recent Saturday it was Mark and Sarah Peters' turn to host four couples for dinner at their house in Superior — the second meal of four the group will share over six months.

The pre-dinner chatter touched on subjects including wine, kitchen lighting, toys and war.

“If people talk about their dogs and gardens for six months, then that accomplishes our mission,” Dave Corby says.

If the groups want to talk about their faith and cultural traditions, that's fine too. And if they want to attend one another's worship or other services, they can.

Any prohibitions held by a member — such as not eating pork or drinking alcohol — are honored at the dinner table.

London-born Mark Peters is a nonbeliever — in God, that is — yet he is still very much interested in this sort of fellowship.

“I'm an atheist. In America, that's a difficult thing to say,” the 47-year-old says.

Having someone ask him what he believes in was, Peters says, both “frightening and freeing.”

“I have beliefs,” he says. “The fact that they don't involve God doesn't mean I don't have a strong moral code.”

The biggest challenge, he says, is trying not to convert someone, whether the talk is about football or faith.

The one rule of Common Tables: no proselytizing.

“It didn't take long for us to get right into it, into talking about our beliefs,” says one of Peters' dinner guests, Dorothy Hackett, a member of the Mile High Church of Religious Science.

While the Peterses dished up an Englishman's shepherd's pie and selection of cheeses, the four couples revisited their first conversation about their spirituality — this time with more openness and depth.

“This is about compassionate dialogue,” the 60-year-old Corby says. “This is about learning there is nothing to fear. We want to create ever- expanding circles of inclusiveness.”

Common Tables has its work cut out with 10,000 distinct religions in the world, according to www.adherents.com.

Within Christianity alone there are more than 33,000 denominations, all based on the same Scriptures.

“This is not so much about trying to understand all the variations within Islam or Christianity as it is about understanding that Muslims and Christians are people like ourselves,” Corby says.

If he'd had a dozen Muslim friends years ago, he said, his take on 9/11 would have been completely different.

Common Tables' current registration fee is $25 per individual or couple.

The membership goal is 3 million worldwide, or 750,000 contemporaneous dinner meetings, by the end of 2008.

It's doable, the founders claim.

“This is happening almost faster than we can manage it,” the 55-year-old Harris says. “All four of us have had to leave our day jobs to run this.”

Harris said the group's website, commontables.org., has experienced hits from all over the globe, from Pakistan to Ireland.

Saturday dinner guest Bill Mahoney, 60, a Baha'i convert and former Catholic, said everyone in his group is pretty open-minded or they probably wouldn't be there.

“How do you bring the fundamentalists to the table? I don't know,” Mahoney says.

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Rocky Mountain News

TORKELSON: Different faiths, one brunch table

(09/03/07) Jean Torkleson, Religion Columnist

Most folks spend Labor Day weekend lazing with friends and family. But four Colorado couples took a gutsier approach at brunch Sunday.
They were near-strangers who risked finding out that they had zero in common - especially in their religious beliefs.

"For us, it's a great way to meet people we wouldn't meet otherwise," said Ernie Huff, who with his wife, Cheryl, opened their Highlands Ranch home to a new interfaith movement, Common Tables.

"I don't want someone to tell me I have to convert, but I'm curious about what people believe," said Kathy Cranmer, who came with her husband, Mike.

The idea: get four couples of different faiths, all strangers, to gather in each other's homes for food and fellowship. In a few months, Common Tables has signed up 100 participants and gotten hits from 27 countries on its Web site, commontables.org, says Dave Corby, a co-founder with his wife, Kay, and two other Colorado couples.

"If we just sat down and talked and erased the boundaries that exist, it could do a lot of good in the world," Dave Corby says. For more information, go to the Web site or call 303-690-3900. It costs $25 to join for a year of match-ups.

Meet Sunday's guests: The Huffs are members of the Mile Hi Church of Religious Science in Lakewood. Mike Cranmer also goes to Mile Hi, while his wife, Kathy, attends First Unitarian Church in Denver.

Bob and Nancy Hoffmaster are from Calvary Baptist Church in Denver. Miriam and Jeff Geller hail from Denver's BMH/BJ synagogue.

The couples met briefly ahead of time to lay ground rules like dietary needs. The Gellers, for example, keep a kosher home, so pork was off the table. In other pairings, alcohol may be a religious no-no.

Despite differences, "we all have similar attitudes - acceptance," said Bob Hoffmaster.

The first get-together was spent mostly talking about families and interests, and very little about religion: "It's not so much learning about everybody's faith, but how has your faith shaped you as a person," Cheryl Huff said.

Yet faith questions filtered through. Jeff Geller helped Cheryl Huff understand a Jewish prayer she read in a novel. The group touched on Mother Teresa and her recently revealed "dark night of the soul."

It shows, said Jeff Geller, "Everybody has doubts no matter who you are."

"But she never strayed from her path," Mike Cranmer observed.

In six months, everybody will be assigned to a new group, which could be atheists, Buddhists or Muslims.

And the original eight may continue their relationship as friends: "Though after several years," quipped Nancy Hoffmaster, "we may get tired of cooking."

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INTERFAITH PROGRAM

BY KAREN VANCE | ENQUIRER CONTRIBUTOR

(6/9/07) -- Can sitting down to eat together bring change to the world?

One man thinks it can, and has started a national organization, Common Tables, to make it possible.

Frank Albert of Parker, Colo., a suburb of Denver, is creating a national and even international network of people who want to sit down to dinner with people of other faiths.

"A lot of churches, mosques, synagogues and other congregations aren't really set up for interfaith programming, so many of them are contacting us and saying, 'This is what we've been looking for,' " Albert said.

He got the idea for Common Tables after several years of participating in a couple's social dinner club. One night he wondered what the dinners might be like if those at the table were Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Sikh.

He contacted groups and denominations and worked with the Interfaith Alliance. All have been receptive to the idea.

The key now is to sign up diners at the grass-roots level, including starting tables in Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. Interested people simply sign-up on the Web site and they'll be "seated" at a table. The group will meet for potluck dinners monthly and talk about anything. Albert also encourages the group to visit each other's houses of worship.

"It's really about getting to know where another person is coming from," he said.

"The bottom line is there are so many different paths to God. Everybody has a different answer and no answer is wrong. "

For more information or to sign up for a table in Greater Cincinnati or Northern Kentucky, visit www.commontables.org.

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Common Tables bring together people of different faiths (5/24/07)

By Heidi Bright Parales, DisciplesWorld Inc. contributing writer.
Article is reprinted by permission of DisciplesWorld, Inc.

(5/24/07) — People meeting together in homes are changing the world one meal at a time. Through a new organization called Common Tables, formed in April, people are getting to know others of different faiths and learning respect and tolerance for others’ views.

Individuals or couples sign up to meet with other interested people of diverse religious backgrounds. Participants are encouraged to meet four times within six months in homes and eat a home-cooked meal. This setting provides a relaxed, informal setting for conversation.

Participants are asked to meet “with open hearts and in a spirit of curiosity,” according to www.CommonTables.org.

“Common Table’s primary focus is on building religious harmony at the grass-roots level. Our organization is the loving effort of a group of six caring individuals and is not associated with any theological, political or social group,” according to the website.

Dave Corby, of Parker, Colo., who participated in such an experience, wanted to bring this idea to the world. He said that for about three and one-half years, he has been part of seven groups that used the Common Tables format.

“Each group had its own personality, yet each has had this in common: Every diverse group, each in its own way, has somehow managed to quickly find its way to common ground. Today, the majority of my most valued friends are people I first met through this format. "

Wayne and Gloria Gardner, Castle Rock, Colo., also belonged to the original dinner club for many years. Wayne Gardner said they were both raised in the Mormon faith and found it stimulating to share insights about their heritage with others from Jewish, Catholic, Baptist and even atheist backgrounds.

“These conversations have been a great bond in understanding that there is a common thread in all faiths and how truly alike we all are,” he said.

Stephanie Albert, another founding member, said the most interesting thing she learned through these dinners was the commonalities everyone shared.

“We all had similar desires to make a difference in the world, to grow closer to what we call God, to develop deeper friendships, to improve our family relations,” she said. “We also liked to talk about what is going on the world, what we were reading, what our interests were.”

She has arranged different dinner groups in her church for six-month periods. “Within those tables, we have always had people of differing religious backgrounds, despite the fact that we attend the same church,” Albert said. “We started off thinking we were all of the same faith, but soon discovered we had those who were Catholic, Lutheran, Jewish, Mormon and other various faiths at some point in their life, and some still practicing those faiths as part of their religious or spiritual experience.”

“There were also things we got to know about the other table members’ faiths that are of a different persuasion and how that is woven into their lives now,” she said. “The food was always a treat, as well as seeing other’s homes. The home says a lot about a person and what is important to them.”

Currently, about 15 people are involved, but the organization is seeking to create Common Tables groups in major cities, both for pairs (who would make up a table of eight) and for individuals (who would make up a table of four).

“The interest has grown incredibly in the short period of time we have been contacting people,” said Albert. “There is a strong interest in this subject and in our success. We know this is going to be big, the time is right and this is a perfect vehicle for the changes we all say we want to see in the world.”Frank Albert, Stephanie’s husband and a Common Tables founding member, said the group envisions 350,000 participants across the United States and Canada by year end.

Joining costs $25 per year. Members receive the names of three other diverse faith couples in their local geographic area, along with a guide for gathering together the group for a Common Table meeting.

After six months, Common Tables will create another Table for participants.

The only rule for members is to respect and honor the traditions of others in the group. “Approach your Table with an open heart and a spirit of loving curiosity,” the Common Tables website states. “Avoid judgment, evangelizing, or attempting to convert others. Appreciate the differences and focus on the fundamental similarities that weave through the core of all people. Relax and have fun together.”

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Interfaith dining